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Trace Special Friends | From Your Distant Past.

John October 8, 2019 0 Comments

Reconnecting With A Lost Love

Considerations when Reconnecting with a Lost Love. We focus on those aged Over 60 who wish to reconnect with An Old Sweetheart. “That special one who got away”

Reconnecting With A Lost Love
Mornington Crescent 1968. Daer Jane-Once Seen Never Forgotten-Still Etched Deep In My Thoughts-Darling!

U.K. Finding a long lost friend

Reconnecting with a special old friend does appear to be growing in popularity. Mainly due to the worldwide web connections.

However, the wish to reconnect with a lost love, old flames, or lost sweethearts is not in any way a new phenomenon. Indeed it has been around we suspect since time began.

But years ago (pre-digital), it was a completely different proposition. Requiring far more initiative, creativity, and time spent in libraries perusing old records.

When attempting Reconnecting With A Lost Love-our surveys showed, that in 55% of people wanted to reconnect to a former teenage love. from age 17 or earlier. 9% searched an old sweetheart from when they were aged between 18 to 23.

Finding A Long Lost Lover | Is It Worth it?

In many cases, people wished to “return” to a childhood crush/sweetheart from age 8, 9, or 10!  These reconnections were particularly popular amongst over 65s. Remarkably these reconnections had a very high success rate. Indeed the same success level, as former loves from high school era.

Frequently the couples grew up in the same communities, same schools, same peer links, and close to their families. One constant feedback was “feeling comfortable” as there was something reassuring with this kind of“familiarity”. In their teens, Sexual or otherwise had no bearing on the success or otherwise when reconnection.

Successful Mature Couple reunions

37% of those surveyed, were in their 40s/50s when reconnected. 10% between ages 60-70. 4% were in their 80s.

Surprisingly, with age, although the number of reunions decreased, the actual number of successes increased.

Many considered the success when reconnecting with A Lost Love was down to their maturity: Improved communications and a more calm and tranquil approach to life. Plus a 100% unequivocal desire to spend their later years with that person. A love which survived even after so many years separated.

These mature couples were into the spiritual and philosophical aspects. Far more so, than their younger counterparts. Believing they were really destined ‘soul mates’ -who someone “up there” brought together again.

Rekindling a first lost Love | Further statistics.

Although not surprising, there exists quite a high success rate amongst mature adults living alone. They are more than others, cautious in meeting and forming a relationship with someone who is initially, a total stranger. For them, reconnecting with an old flame is more reassuring, and safe.

One survey conducted showed more than 60% of participants were indulging in extramarital affairs. These statistics were the same amongst over 60’s as their younger counterparts. Interestingly many of these extramarital affairs began in a totally innocent way. Beginning with an exchange of emails, initially enquiring how the other party is doing, and how life has been since they last met.

As a rule, the one who first made contact was either divorced or widow/widower.

Consciously, neither party admitted to any notions of embarking on an affair. But things quickly moved on. The Initial emails progressed to phone chats, and by talking sparked a curiosity to moving it to a physical meeting. This often opened the door to an affair.

But, moral issues often caused a stumbling block.

Being part of the so-called “baby boomer” generation, their parents, instilled different moral ethics and values to that of today’s generation. 

Things like sex before marriage, extramarital sex were severely frowned upon. Indeed it was as if you had brought shame on the entire family with such wanton indulgences. Whereas today’s younger generation does not give it any thought, either way.

Comparison Made

Added to the mix and dilemma, were often the children’s non-acceptance of the relationship.

There can be quite uncomfortable comparisons made here. For example, the parent is a widow/er. Then an old friend from mum or dad’s past appears suddenly out of the blue, and uninvited. They can often be perceived by the rest of the family as an intruder. Shunned, and seen possibly as a “gold digger” especially if there are wealth and assets involved.

When reuniting lost sweethearts

Consider and keep in mind that in many instances, the adult children feel threatened, by the person their mum or dad has taken up with. For example, as the person introduces was mum or dad’s former lover before their own natural mum or dad, then it’s like they are being told: “This is truly the person I really should have married.” This leaves the children thinking, “right, so really I should/would never have been born in the first place.”

Yes, there is often a lot of cynicism as to the motive.

If both have roughly the same amount of assets there is a better chance of a good outcome. Although this should not really have any bearing on it. But money gets in the way everywhere.

Thinking the sole motive is for the outsider to be wishing to steal mum/dad’s money. That they are really reconnecting with what is after all now a stranger: especially as 50 years have elapsed. Actually some adult children suggested, the reunion is due to perhaps their parent becoming slightly senile. Or pursuing some kind of silly fantasy.

To add to the scepticism these romances move on very quickly.

The mature lost love birds, feel, due to their advancing years and time spent apart, there is no time to waste. Often marrying within weeks, or in some cases days! Quite understandably middle-aged family members become cynical and concerned.

Indeed reconnection of a mature couple has few parallels to go on.

They have different rules and moral compasses. They feel a strong urge to rekindle the interruption which came about all those years ago. Indeed one couple actually got back together again after more than 75 years. Marrying, on her 95th birthday.

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