Reconnecting with an old love
Reconnecting with an old love or a long lost love in the UK is not an easy task – It’s quite possible to sometimes trace them. But it is a massive task.
Reconnect to a long lost sweetheart
Reconnecting with an old love-Some useful advice and tips
The firstly and most important question is: are you in a position to give that lost sweetheart a real future together. If the answer is no – You are married, in a relationship, then forget it. Otherwise, you are just opening up a potential hornet’s nest. If your relationship is “on the rocks” we suggest looking to the future and not digging up the past.
The internet and the emergence of social media, have made it in theory so much easier to reconnect with that old-flame childhood sweetheart etc.
The question is; should you do it? Do they work out more often the second time around or in fact again- flounder like they did the first time?
The subject of reuniting with a long lost love has been vigorously researched
Actually, the numbers involved grew to more than 4,000 couples stretching across the entire globe.
Feedback from cases of those who sought to find a lost love
The majority of people who after some years had elapsed set out to reconnect with a long-lost love special person has a high success rate. Frequently the one they had usually first dated back in early adolescence
The question of whether or not they had originally indulged in sexual activity or just Platonic had little effect on their thinking. Most of the survey participants put the first relationship breakdown down to various outside influences, situations, and circumstances.
What was their age at the time of their first time around meeting?
Generally speaking between ages 15-24.
Why did they seek to reconnect with their old sweetheart
Even though the individual had naturally moved on the long-lost love feelings have never been totally forgotten. Even though the time gap could be 20 years plus.
None admitted to any weird obsession and generally were quite content with their current partner.
Although some did admit to finding themselves increasingly saddened that that once important person in their young lives will never ever be seen by them again.
The person who once was so devoted to them hung on their every word and adored them is gone!
However, the long period of time-lapse gave them a good opportunity to ponder and muse over things. For example, who, why, and what happened?
Analysing mistakes made along the way. Dealing with an inner sadness and anguish, that probably they will never ever see that lovely person again.
Frustratingly they know out there somewhere is their long lost sweetheart. They even start to look at people differently. Asked themselves could it be him/her?
What are the success rates in rekindled relationships
Reconnecting with a long-lost love has many abject failures. Let’s start by saying here and now, there were a considerable number of failures (second time around)
But much depended on the circumstances between them. If they were both free, and not in any relationship at the time, it stands a high chance of success.
Especially when the circumstances were outside influences that contributed to the original break-up. Such as interfering and disapproving parents. Or the logistic geographical problems of parents moving far away. In these cases, there was an amazing 70% plus a successful outcome.
Conversely and on the other hand when both parties have married this type of reconnecting can prove to be catastrophic in consequences.
Take what we say as a warning. Even though the motives can be as pure as the ‘driven snow’-innocent etc. here is the low-down.
The Lure of rekindling a lost love
Although meeting up with someone from the distant past seem harmless enough, even if you are both married or in a relationship. People are lulled into kidding themselves -saying “what possible harm can be done by simply saying hi again” to a long-gone youth/adolescent puppy love? I don’t even need to meet them just simply send a message by email.”
When searching for a long-lost love there are many unexpected surprise elements. Most people seem to be seeking nothing more than to reconnect as a friend, and not lose touch again.
However, even with the most honourable of intentions and commitment and sometimes being married, and their family discovered the pull of that long-ago romance is still very strong and powerful.
Many couples despite their better judgment, found themselves without planning it that way were into an affair.
Is it worth reconnecting with an old love who is married? When you are both married to another?
The success rate for these reconnections is staggeringly low. In 95% of cases, one party decides not to abandon their marriage. However often the marriage is never the same and can psychologically damage the children.
When already married to another – dilemmas of reconnection with an old flame
Here is a discovery that in fact they actually love two people but from different eras in their lives. There are other considerations of what a break-up would do to the kids.
Dividing up property and assets, isolation from parents, in-laws, and disapproving friends. It’s the same as when a married couple divorces.
Handling the pressures when resurrecting an old flame
If you are both single then go ahead. But if both of you are married elsewhere it’s going to be tricky. Many people reckon they can easily handle the pressures. 50% are in fact happily married.
When facing an old flame they assume it will all work out ok. But they have released a powerful genie out of the bottle. The rekindled romance leaves them all over the place.
The benefits a reconnected couple shared – A common past
Probably growing up together, being best friends at school and college and a special trust which is unlike any other.
This bond is forged out of young love when their person and identity is still being formed. They developed their love around this. The special bond remains even if they subsequently split up and move on.
The desire to reconnect with an old flame can be very powerful
Perhaps for years having speculated on how life might have been -if they had never broken up.
Especially when often since then they both never knew exactly why the break-up occurred. Assuming incorrectly another party was involved.
However, frequently unbeknown, the break-up was not down to any unfaithfulness/ infidelity. Instead, on the contrary, often attributed to stern overbearing and bullying parents. The ones who felt they- always knew best.
Frequently, reconnecting with an old flame-long lost love again invokes youthful romantic thinking comes to the fore again.
The couple (in their own minds) became young lovers once again. Behaving as they did back in their formative teenage years. Behaving frequently rash and foolishly together with reckless abandon, and immaturity. Totally fixed on their old-flame once again and blinkered from reality.
At the same time, newfound reckless confidence. Oblivious to the fact, and not expecting to be caught in their clandestine relationship.
Supremely confident their romance will triumph overall. Totally intoxicated and “taken in” by the heady notions they once possessed years ago. In being the only two people in the world.
Sorry for what seems to be like a lecture.
In conclusion – What to do if faced with an old flame and tempted to reconnect? There is no person in this world qualified to advise you. It’s individual, and you can make your own mind up. However, if you are both single-why not! Good luck whatever you decide. Begin with I love you!
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