Reconnecting two first loves
Fears and Trepidation
Reconnecting two first love after decades apart. This particular client came to us with many mixed feelings, including a tinge of sadness. His story is highly poignant, circumspect, and emotional.
We decided to let him tell you this very moving and heartfelt account, which shines the light on his thoughts ad motives behind his search. Please note that some things have been redacted to protect identities.
In his own words
“Hi John, it was great speaking to you on the phone this afternoon. After reading your ‘lost friend finding services’ piece and receiving more information from you, I pushed through my nerve-wracking procrastination about pursuing this search and put together an email. I have sent it to you.
Whilst recently cleaning up a load of scanned photos I’d taken a long time ago of a girl I once knew, I became somewhat lost in nostalgia and, I’ll admit, remorse. We first met in December 1974, when I was 22 and she was 18.
Reconnecting two first loves.
In truth, the person in question – should she still be alive (and I most sincerely hope she is) – would let the past instead be the past and have no desire to reconnect at all. That I would accept and respect, albeit with some regret, but at least then I’d know for sure and stop my wondering. Although it would be nice to know how she is, what she looks like now, how her life has been, and also to try and atone for my stupidity and lack of chivalry, respect, and kindness all those years ago. I still don’t know what she saw in me. It was actually she who came knocking at my (parents) door to ask me out!
So here I find myself: a pensioner bizarrely trying to trace a long-lost love. In fact, in my case, it was my first love. This is the information I have on her: Her name was [redacted], and she worked at Barclays Bank (a small branch near the bus station in [redacted]. Later, I think, she moved up within the main department along the High Street. She lived not far from me and only a few minutes walk away in a small cul-de-sac with her divorced mother. I’m unsure of the house number, but I think it was 47. I lived at [redacted] Road with my parents and younger brother.
She was beautiful, slim, and only a bit shorter than me (I’m five ′ 9″). She had shortish, very tight curly strawberry-blonde hair and blue eyes and dressed elegantly. I remember her wearing a fitted, long brown coat with an oversized furry collar. I can’t remember what I bought her for Christmas a few weeks later, but I recall that she bought me an Elton John Greatest Hits album.
Our time together was, sadly, only a few months. However, the legacy of her impact on me was surprisingly deep and lasted many years despite that. Our breakup wasn’t entirely without some acrimony. However, I cannot remember the exact reason for it. So, over the next few years, on the scarce occasion when our paths crossed somewhere in town, she would barely acknowledge me, though once or twice she did stop briefly to say hello and exchange all-too-brief pleasantries.
In fact, it was her mother who would always stop to chat whenever I saw her. At some point, she moved to her own flat, which, I think, was in an apartment block on the corner of [redacted] Road in town. I can’t be sure, but later on, when I met her mother one day in town, I think she told me that she had either moved to or worked in Milton Keynes.
Reconnecting two first loves
One particular occasion springs to mind: a friend and I went to Great Yarmouth for the day with one of her friends and her boyfriend. This was January 1st, 1975. We were all friends of friends and knew each other. So I had some names and surnames to help in my search.
Today it has been forty years since I last saw my first love.
Over the years, she would often appear in my thoughts – she still does. No doubt she has changed much since then, as have I, and perhaps I barely even register in her mind as a phantom from the past and therefore best forgotten.
The deeper part of me still hopes that past mistakes could be forgiven and old wounds and grudges healed. Sometimes, over the years, during moments of reflection, I’ve tried searching for her via Google, but without success. All I have found, as touched upon earlier (assuming it’s the same person), is that she was married in 1978 around Christmas.
It was only during the past few months that I stumbled across your website and became intrigued by the possibilities. I have been debating and procrastinating about things ever since.
I do not wish to rekindle anything more than a friendship – I am past that age in my life. I also have thirty or so photos from that time, which I think she will appreciate seeing.”
The risk paid off
Reconnecting two first loves. It took some work and some time, but eventually we at friends reconnected and did manage to find her – ironically living not so far away!
Update. These two first loves did meet up and reported that it went exceptionally very well. So, who knows what the future holds? We eagerly await further updates.